How strong is your most important relationship?


Our confidence, our love, our creativity in the world is a reflection of our relationship with our self.

Think about that for a moment. What you have going on inside is what you are reflecting out into your world. Regardless of the face you may put on, your ability to be who you really want to be depends on the quality and quantity of your self love, self acceptance, self kindness, self compassion, and self integrity.

There is a chasm between self-discipline and self-bullying.

Intention, desire, and integrity create the foundation of self discipline and it lifts you up. There is wholeness and a desire to be your best self in self discipline. Self bullying is about pushing, performing, proving, without regard for self because it thrives on what others think. It is negative, energy depleting, and it erodes your connection with your essential self.

Do you practice self compassion?

If you do, by definition you possess and practice sympathetic consciousness of your own distress along with a desire and willingness to take action to alleviate it. Do you do that for yourself? Or do you ignore or devalue your own challenges and your need to take action for yourself? Do you tell yourself to “pull your big panties on and just deal?” or do you sympathize and encourage yourself through understanding that what you are “walking through” is hard or painful. Do you slow down long enough to really hear and feel yourself and do you take non-bullying action to alleviate the difficulty of a situation?

Are you kind to you? Do you practice giving yourself loving grace? Are you courteous to you? Or are you merciless towards your feelings, no pity for hard days, difficult life situations, challenges to your sense of self? Maybe even coldhearted towards your own suffering?  Can you commit to more self kindness, self grace and even indulgence of who you are, how you experience situations, and your unique and wonderful quirks?

Pro-active Self Care

Set an intention to prioritize your mental/emotional/physical and spiritual wellness.

Mental & Emotional Self Care Can Include Any or All
  • Loving Self Kindness – Grace to self first. Be your own best friend!
  • Self Compassion – Sympathetic consciousness about your own suffering and acting to alleviate it.
  • Self Acceptance – You are worthy exactly as you are!
  • Mindfulness practice – breath work, yoga, meditation, shamanic journeying, affirmations – consider an app like Headspace or I Affirm
  • Awareness of negative self talk – thought and self talk redirect; catch it and correct it – cancel/clear/delete and restate in the positive.
  • Gratitude Journal – every day note three things from your day that you can feel gratitude towards.
  • Emotional Awareness – Know your emotions and how you work with them. Name them, claim them, be comfortable and uncomfortable with them. Seek to know the wisdom of your emotions.
  • Courageous and willing to take action for support to create change.
Physical Self Care Can Include Any or All
  • Somatic Awareness – learn how to pay attention to the wisdom of your body in health so when something changes you can take action quickly in response.
  • Mindfulness practice – breath work, yoga, meditation, shamanic journeying, Chi Gong, Tai Chi, being quiet in nature.
  • Weekly Physical Activity that suits your needs and personality – walking, swimming, dancing, chi gong, tai chi, hiking, jogging, biking, kayaking. Consider an app like mapmywalk or 7 minute workout.
  • Sleep – hold the intention to get the amount of sleep your body needs. Consider an app like Relax Melodies, Sound Sleep or listen to binaural sleep music from You Tube. Limit screen time at night especially.
  • Courageous and willing to take action to create change.
Spiritual Self Care
  • Commit to a spiritual practice that supports you in feeling connected to the world around you.
  • Spend time in Nature often: bird watching is a trifecta in self care: out in nature, quiet, observing, walking, hiking. By yourself, with your tribe or an Audubon group (social connection/nature time/restorative) and their is great brain training that happens in finding the birds in their habitat, fine tuning your observation skills, and then matching what you see for a positive bird ID. And their is the benefit of building self esteem and feeling accomplished and at peace after a bird outing.
  • Spend time with non human animals, observing, being curious, connecting in mutual benefit.
  • Design or practice ceremony and rituals that support your spiritual growth.
  • Find a tribe who believe and feel as you do and stay connected and involved.
  • Find ways to give your talents and gifts to be of service to others.
  • Be creative. Do things that uniquely express your kind of creativity; music, gardening, writing, speaking, crafting, dancing, art of any kind, learn and practice a form of energy work, rehabilitate a non human animal in need.
  • Learn how to practice a mindful and nature connected shamanic lifestyle by enrolling in a basic shamanic studies class and learn how to expand your creativity and imagination through journeying. Check out the Foundation for Shamanic Studies for a class near you.
  • Schedule energy work for yourself; reiki, massage, cranial sacral, or others that you feel a resonance with.

Take Care of You. Start a Love Affair with You! And you will have More Love and Grace to give to those you love around you.

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